100 Days Of Self-Exploration: Day Six--What Advice Would You Give To Yourself Three Years Ago?

In 2014, I was actually in a pretty good place. I had finished chemo and radiation, been declared cancer free, and started the reconstruction process.

I was dealing with some disappointments regarding family members, so one thing I would tell myself is to stop letting their actions impact my mood, as things are going to get progressively worse, and I just need to accept it for what it is and move on.

I would remind myself to be thankful every day for all my blessings, and to be good to myself--that I am lovable and loved, and that I deserve all the good things I have and the ones yet to come.

I would tell myself to stop letting fear get in the way of putting any of my writing out into the world, and not wait so long to publish the poetry or to get back into writing fiction.

100 Days Of Self-Exploration: Day Five--What are the three biggest things you've learned in life to date?

1) I am stronger than I would have imagined. And I'm referring to emotional strength here, not physical.

2) Sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, you have to just put them in God's hands, keep praying for them, keep loving them, but STOP enabling them.

3) I am lovable, and I am loved.  :)

100 Days of Self-Exploration: Day Four--What Are Your Values?

This is a hard one for me to really put into words, for whatever reason. So....I found a list of values online and I'm listing here the ones from that list which figure prominently in my life.

Authenticity
Achievement
Balance
Compassion
Creativity
Curiosity
Determination
Equality
Faith
Friendships
Growth
Happiness
Honesty
Humor
Justice
Kindness
Knowledge
Learning
Love
Loyalty
Meaningful work
Optimism
Peace
Reputation
Respect
Responsibility
Security/stability
Self-respect
Trustworthiness
Wisdom

Brain Bearing Scars

(Went to a poetry workshop at the library tonight, led by Joan Harris-check her website HERE--and we wrote a blitz poem. Will add an explanation of a blitz poem at the end of the post.)

BRAIN BEARING SCARS
Tax my patience
Tax my brain
Brain drain
Brain damage
Damage done
Damage unseen
Unseen angels
Unseen beauty
Beauty and the beast
Beauty fades away
Away we go
Away from home
Home sweet home
Homeward bound
Bound to fail
Bound by promises
Promises kept
Promises broken
Broken hearts
Broken dreams
Dreams become goals
Dreams come true
True grit
True love
Love unconditionally
Love scars
Scars don't heal
Scars remain
Remain
Heal

A blitz is a thirty-line poem comprised of connected phrases and images.

Line 1 is a short phrase or image
Line 2 is another short phrase or image using the same first word as the first word in Line 1.

Lines 3 and 4 are short phrases or images that use the last word of Line 2 as their first word.

Lines 5 and 6 are short phrases or images that use the last word of Line 4 as their first word, and so on until you've made it through 28 lines.

Line 29 is the last word of Line 28.

Line 30 is the last word of Line 27.

The title of the poem is the first word of line 3, a connecting word, and the first word of line 27.

100 Days Of Self-Exploration: Day Three: What Are You Most Grateful For?

I am grateful for so many things:

1) being free of cancer

2) mature, responsible children

3) healthy, happy grandchildren

4) a husband who treats me incredibly well

5) a supportive group of friends I can count on

6) a writers group to encourage me, hold me accountable, and also be new friends.

7) a closer, more open relationship with my mother than I used to believe was possible.

8) music that can touch my heart

9) books that make me think, or make me laugh, or just help me relax.

10) the ability to learn something new every day.

(these are just the first ten that came to mind...there are dozens more!)

100 Days Of Self-Exploration: Day Two--What Are You Passionate About?

I am passionate about many things. Most importantly, I am passionate about my family: my husband, my children, my grandchildren. I am generally a quiet, reserved person, but if someone messes with a member of my family, I can become a tiger. I will do whatever I think is in the best interest of a family member, especially if they are not in a position to advocate for themselves, even if it means that another family member gets upset with me in the process.

In a larger sense, my passion is children. I have always enjoyed working with children, seeing them learn and grow over time--and it's been amazing to watch them grow to adults, knowing that I have played some part in their life, either as a Sunday school teacher, a kindergarten teacher, a babysitter, a friend's mom, etc.

100 Days Of Self-Exploration: Day One--Who Are You?

I am Teresa Dene (Danner) Kander. I am the daughter of Richard Ward Danner and Gloria Dene (Johnson) Evans. I am the former wife of Douglas Brian Rankin and George Amyl Haffelt Jr. (both deceased) and the current wife of Barry Richard Kander. I am the mother of Brian Alan Rankin, Samantha Adrienne (Rankin) Swan, and Amylia Marie (Haffelt) Handwerker. I am the grandmother of Micheal Lee Swan, Annamea Kay Swan, and Lucian Alexander Rankin.

I am a Christian who is no longer part of any organized religion, because I choose to follow the words of Jesus as they speak to my heart, not the words spoken from a pulpit. I am a teacher, hopefully, every day of my life, as I try to offer inspiration and encouragement to all. I am a writer who feels more empowered to listen to her muse each day and less inclined to listen to those who don't believe in me.

I am living a life after breast cancer, finding the joy in every day and doing the things I've always said I would do "one day,"---since we never know when today could be the LAST day.

(Stay tuned for the whole 100 days as we all learn more about who I am!!)